Before I gave birth to Lincoln, I was apprehensive about parenting two children at once. I am an only child and have no idea what to do with more than 1 kid at a time. The only training I have in my 'toolbox' is my classroom management training. However, that was geared toward middle school and high school students, not infant - pre-K. Amazingly enough, it has been easier than I thought. I have learned to work the baby's schedule around my existing schedule for Colton. So far, it's worked out pretty good. I have learned a few things along the way in the first two weeks. Here are some things I'd like to mention, as well as the new knowledge I've accumulated.
1. First and foremost, I'd like to thank everyone for their generosity when it came to helping us acquire clothing for our surprise arrival of a boy instead of a girl. All of our friends and family have given us so much and have been so supportive-it's incredible! THANK YOU!
2. In the same vein, there is no possible way to describe the feeling you have when you've just given birth to what you thought was a beautiful baby girl, only to be told he's a bouncing baby boy. It's a mixture of joy and excitement for a healthy baby and just to be done with pregnancy and on to the next step where you actually get to see that baby, combined with a feeling of confusion, dread and apprehension for the things you now need to purchase and frustration for all the time you spent on prepping for a girl, only to have to re-do it all when you get home. That is in addition to the responsibility of how to explain the difference to my two-year old. The months we spent creating a bond with the new baby had to be re-vamped to fit a boy instead of a girl. He was confused for a while-I even catch myself calling the baby Heidi or referring to him as "her" without thinking. Yikes.
3. With Colton, I was so concerned with the big picture and sleep training and doing everything correctly. With Lincoln, I find myself focusing on him, without spending so much time obsessing about details and other things that don't need to come until later. Part of that is probably due to the fact that I don't have time or energy to focus past the end of the week, but I recognize the difference in my attitude toward the 'baby-ness' of Lincoln vs. Colton. I am able to enjoy Lincoln's first days a lot more than I did with Colton. Less pain and discomfort certainly helps too.
4. The best invention ever is Clorox 2. I was able to make it thru the first week with very few outfits that fit because the stains actually came out! :) I did not have this knowledge when Colton was small. Those yellow stains are stubborn!
5. Before I gave birth, I had no idea how I was going to do it all. I thought I was already at the end of my rope. Since then, I have found reserves of patience I didn't know I had. I'm actually proud of myself and what I've been able to accomplish since Lincoln was born. I'm better at this parenting/wifing thing than I thought. :)
6. I also had no idea how I would be able to love 2 children. I was worried I would feel I was neglecting 1 to care for the other. In fact, I feel the opposite. When I care for 1, I feel like I'm doing well at caring for both. Each of my kids has a special place in my heart and I try very hard to make it clear to each of them-especially Colton.
7. Colton has surprised me at how much he has bonded with his baby brother. I was afraid that when the baby turned out to be a boy, and we'd cultivated a relationship with a girl during the pregnancy, he would be confused and not be able to bond with Lincoln. However, that has most definitely not been the case. He asks to hold him, treats him gently and is super helpful-handing toys, blankets, pacifiers, etc. Colton tells others (perfect strangers sometimes), "That's my baby brother!" It's so cute! Every time he's so sweet to his brother, my heart swells and I love him even more.
8. This is going to cause some backlash, especially because I was so against it when I had Colton, but I have discovered co-sleeping is not the devil. When Colton was small, he slept 5 hours at a time-even in the hospital. There was no getting up to feed him at night because he didn't ask. Five hours was enough sleep for me. Lincoln sleeps only 2 or 3 hours at a time. Therefore, if I can roll over and doze while I nurse him at night, then, I'm all for it. I, my husband, and Colton are grateful (even if they don't know it) that I can get enough sleep at night, and my infant gets to eat when he wants. In my defense, I don't do it every night and I DO worry about it--it will only last until he sleeps 4 or 5 hours in a stretch, but maternal sleep is a limited commodity and a necessary one.
9. Each child is so different. Colton has always been an independent child. He never liked swaddling or cuddling. Lincoln needs contact with me. He has trouble putting himself to sleep too. He requires a lot more from me than Colton ever did. Colton had no trouble adjusting to Daddy helping and holding him, even as an infant. Lincoln won't have anybody but me. I wonder if that'll change anytime soon, or if he'll always need me specifically.
10. There are things about having two kids I don't think I'll ever figure out. First, is how to handle grocery shopping with both-Colton cannot sit in the basket with the carseat in the seat because he will squish and/or open all my groceries because he's so curious. I will probably have to take the baby in the front carrier and put Colton in the seat. Second is how to find time for myself. I already had trouble with that before I had Lincoln, but when I go back to work, it's going to be downright impossible. Babysitters cost an arm and a leg and I'm not comfortable leaving an infant with just anyone. Forget about date night. That has happened very few times since we had Colton, even. I'm sure there's more things I will have to figure out, but that's all I can think of right now. This may become its own list in the future. :)
I have roughly half an hour to eat lunch before Gremlin wakes up, so I should cut this short. I apologize this list is not as funny as most of my 'reflections'. Humor has been hard to come by on so little sleep. I hope the next list will be better. :) Happy Monday!
Monday, February 27, 2012
Friday, February 17, 2012
Lincoln's birth story-possible TMI alert, but I tried to keep it clean. Childbirth and raising is not for the faint of heart or weak of stomach!
We have finally reached the end of my pregnancy and embarked on the next leg of our journey of parenthood. We were beginning to think this day would never arrive! On February 10th, after 41 weeks and 5 days, we welcomed the newest addition to our family, Lincoln Hawke Strosser. Up until the moment he arrived, we thought he was Heidi Claire Strosser.
We made the decision to induce labor, since I was almost 42 weeks and had on and off contractions for 3 weeks and was only about 2 cm dilated, soft and had all the signs of labor, including excruciating back pain. The contractions would be strong and regular for a few hours and then just stop. It was so frustrating. I was so tired and not feeling well at all, but I chalked it up to just being antsy about being overdue and having "almost labor" for almost a month. I checked into the same hospital where I delivered Colton on Thursday night with no contractions for more than a day and was told I would receive 3 doses of ripener. Then, if nothing happened by 10am, they'd let me eat and shower and then they'd start the pitocin. They gave me the first dose of the ripener (I can't remember the name, but it is an alternative to Cervadil) at 11pm. At 3am, they gave me the second dose. By 4 am, my contractions had started on their own. By 5, the contractions were strong and they gave me Fentanyl to manage the pain. Side note: I don't think I'll take that again-I was LOOPY! It's an opiate and I was completely out of it for a while-NO likey! That worked for about an hour. The baby started having trouble with my contractions-pulse dropping and generally experiencing distress. I had to lay on my side and that seemed to help some, but he was still having trouble with the strong ones. Colton had this problem too-even without the Fentanyl, so I wasn't too worried. By 730, I was in transition and they gave me the epidural by 745am. From there, it was a mad dash to delivery. Everything progressed so much faster than any of us expected, the midwife and nurses included. I'm pretty sure they had decided that since (s)he was so high when I checked in, nothing would happen on its own before the pitocin the next day. Obviously, (s)he dropped-quickly. By 9, I was pushing. The midwife told me to keep pushing, regardless of contractions. After the 3rd push, at 9:07am, I had an 8 pound baby. It was amazing, considering I pushed for 2 hours with my first son, after laboring down for the 3 hours before. At the time, I had no idea what kind of distress the baby was in. Afterward, the Nurse Midwife told me they did not wait for contractions to have me push because (s)he was in trouble. My placenta had already started to disintegrate and separate from the uterine wall. There was no fluid to speak of anymore either. When they threaded the epidural, the midwife broke the sac-nothing came out. After birth, they gave him to me to hold for about 30 seconds and then whisked him away to clean him up and empty him of all the blood he'd taken in (mine, not his). This was a disappointment because I was able to nurse my first son and held him for an hour or more before I had to release him to get him cleaned up. I'm so glad they didn't tell me about all the issues with Lincoln until after they determined he was fine. I would have been a basketcase during labor. I'm also glad we didn't wait any longer than we did to induce labor.
On a less serious note, when he came out, my mother said, "Omigosh, it's a boy!" I thought she was joking, and told her that wasn't funny. Clinton replied with, "She's not joking!" My first thought, as I struggled to sit up and see for myself, was, 'well, I hope he likes pink!' As it turns out, the sonogram tech that did my gender analysis had mis-identified 5 other babies in the month-we were number 6, according to the nurses in the room. Interesting, considering that ultrasound was the most expensive of all the ones that we had done. During that ultrasound, we asked her to describe WHY it was a girl, and she went into detail about what she saw that showed her it was a girl-it wasn't just the lack of visible evidence of a boy. Now, I'm not sure what we were looking at, but it obviously wasn't what she said we were looking at. We had about 6 ultrasounds during my pregnancy, but no one caught it or said anything. In the others' defense, the other ultrasounds were not looking for gender, but still, you'd think someone would have seen something fishy. Nope. Not one. After it warms up, I can use Colton's clothes for him, but since he was born in July, I didn't have any tiny cold-weather clothes. Thankfully, our friends and family have graciously helped us clothe our boy like a boy, so he didn't have to go home in a pink onesie with a frilly pink hat.
With a different gender, we had to come up with a new name. With Colton, Clinton picked his first name, and I picked his middle name. With Lincoln, it was reversed. I picked Lincoln, and Clinton's contribution was Hawke. It's quite a name for a tiny little boy. Hopefully, he'll appreciate it as he gets older. With any luck, he'll grow into it well. :)
Lincoln has certainly kept us on our toes. He had a minor blood sugar issue the first day, so they had me supplementing my nursing feedings with formula. After 3 good blood glucose readings with that method, they let me drop the formula. That was a blessing and also a curse. After I dropped the formula, they made me feed him every 2 hours-no more sleeping for me! Now, though, he's doing fine. He eats about every 2 hours during the day, and I've stretched it to 3-4 hours during the night for the last 2 nights, and it seems to be good for us both. I have finally slept more than 30 minutes in a stretch, and I feel great. He's responding normally and has finally started having BM's on a regular basis*. *(funny story on that later) On that same vein, I feel wonderful after this birth. With my first, I was saddle sore and swollen enough to have trouble sitting for over a week. I had 8 stitches and could hardly get up out of the bed for several days. This time, I had virtually no swelling (with the exception of my feet), and only 2 stitches. I am barely sore at all and have almost no significant bleeding. That's good too, considering they told me I was borderline anemic when I left the hospital. A week later, I feel normal, if a little squishy around the middle. I am also not the emotional wreck I was after Colton. I feel like I have a much better handle on this baby thing than the first time. Nursing is going well. It's been a week and the pain is receding and my supply is mostly regulated. That's also a blessing. Those first few days are ROUGH!
Colton has been an absolute angel with Lincoln. He hands the baby his toys and is eager to help fetch things for the baby and me. He told me last night when I was tucking him in, "Mama, what's that? (pointing to my belly). I told him, "That's my belly." He said, "It's big." I replied, telling him it's smaller than it was. He thought about it for a sec and said, "Baby Heidi didn't come. Baby Lincoln came out your belly instead." HALLELUJAH, HE GETS IT! :) Now, he talks constantly about his "baby brudder". It's so cute! Clinton has been an angel as well. He is very solicitous and helpful and has virtually taken over care of Colton so that I can rest between feedings of the baby. It's been wonderful! He told me yesterday he was so proud of me and what a good mom I am, and that I deserved a medal every day for it. I almost cried! True or not, it was just what an overtired dairy cow needed to hear! :)
Lincoln is such a happy baby-just like Colton. He very rarely cries, and is easily consoled when he does. Food and a clean diaper are all he really needs. He sleeps well as long as he is touching me. We'll work on sleeping in the crib later. We've got time. :) I plan to enjoy this baby more than I did Colton's early days. I didn't understand how sweet it is and how fast it is gone. I do now. Every day is a blessing with each of my children. I love both their hugs and kisses and cherish the conversations I have with each-even if one can't respond with words yet.
* Funny poop story (do not read if queasy):
We went to the pediatrician on Tuesday and decided to stop for coffee/breakfast at McDonald's on the way home. During the course of our meal, Lincoln had his first BM since before leaving the hospital on Sunday. I decided since we were going to Clint's work afterward to get his check, to change the diaper at McD's as they have changing tables in their bathrooms, in case anyone would want to see the baby. I should have just left it till we got home. It was awful-green/black, sticky and everywhere! I did not bring an extra outfit because I had forgotten this aspect of infant-dom. I will not forget again. The under-onsie caught the mess that left the diaper, so the outside layer was still "clean" and, therefore, reusable. Thank God for small miracles. However, when I took the onsie off, it dragged the mess all the way up his body. There were no paper towels in the bathroom at all. I ended up sacrificing the under-onsie to finish cleaning up the mess on the changing table after I bathed him in the sink (Did I mention we were at a food-service establishment??). Of course, he screeched the entire time. I'm sure people thought I was doing something awful in there. I swear it took about half an hour. I have now officially been "that mother." Sheesh.
We made the decision to induce labor, since I was almost 42 weeks and had on and off contractions for 3 weeks and was only about 2 cm dilated, soft and had all the signs of labor, including excruciating back pain. The contractions would be strong and regular for a few hours and then just stop. It was so frustrating. I was so tired and not feeling well at all, but I chalked it up to just being antsy about being overdue and having "almost labor" for almost a month. I checked into the same hospital where I delivered Colton on Thursday night with no contractions for more than a day and was told I would receive 3 doses of ripener. Then, if nothing happened by 10am, they'd let me eat and shower and then they'd start the pitocin. They gave me the first dose of the ripener (I can't remember the name, but it is an alternative to Cervadil) at 11pm. At 3am, they gave me the second dose. By 4 am, my contractions had started on their own. By 5, the contractions were strong and they gave me Fentanyl to manage the pain. Side note: I don't think I'll take that again-I was LOOPY! It's an opiate and I was completely out of it for a while-NO likey! That worked for about an hour. The baby started having trouble with my contractions-pulse dropping and generally experiencing distress. I had to lay on my side and that seemed to help some, but he was still having trouble with the strong ones. Colton had this problem too-even without the Fentanyl, so I wasn't too worried. By 730, I was in transition and they gave me the epidural by 745am. From there, it was a mad dash to delivery. Everything progressed so much faster than any of us expected, the midwife and nurses included. I'm pretty sure they had decided that since (s)he was so high when I checked in, nothing would happen on its own before the pitocin the next day. Obviously, (s)he dropped-quickly. By 9, I was pushing. The midwife told me to keep pushing, regardless of contractions. After the 3rd push, at 9:07am, I had an 8 pound baby. It was amazing, considering I pushed for 2 hours with my first son, after laboring down for the 3 hours before. At the time, I had no idea what kind of distress the baby was in. Afterward, the Nurse Midwife told me they did not wait for contractions to have me push because (s)he was in trouble. My placenta had already started to disintegrate and separate from the uterine wall. There was no fluid to speak of anymore either. When they threaded the epidural, the midwife broke the sac-nothing came out. After birth, they gave him to me to hold for about 30 seconds and then whisked him away to clean him up and empty him of all the blood he'd taken in (mine, not his). This was a disappointment because I was able to nurse my first son and held him for an hour or more before I had to release him to get him cleaned up. I'm so glad they didn't tell me about all the issues with Lincoln until after they determined he was fine. I would have been a basketcase during labor. I'm also glad we didn't wait any longer than we did to induce labor.
On a less serious note, when he came out, my mother said, "Omigosh, it's a boy!" I thought she was joking, and told her that wasn't funny. Clinton replied with, "She's not joking!" My first thought, as I struggled to sit up and see for myself, was, 'well, I hope he likes pink!' As it turns out, the sonogram tech that did my gender analysis had mis-identified 5 other babies in the month-we were number 6, according to the nurses in the room. Interesting, considering that ultrasound was the most expensive of all the ones that we had done. During that ultrasound, we asked her to describe WHY it was a girl, and she went into detail about what she saw that showed her it was a girl-it wasn't just the lack of visible evidence of a boy. Now, I'm not sure what we were looking at, but it obviously wasn't what she said we were looking at. We had about 6 ultrasounds during my pregnancy, but no one caught it or said anything. In the others' defense, the other ultrasounds were not looking for gender, but still, you'd think someone would have seen something fishy. Nope. Not one. After it warms up, I can use Colton's clothes for him, but since he was born in July, I didn't have any tiny cold-weather clothes. Thankfully, our friends and family have graciously helped us clothe our boy like a boy, so he didn't have to go home in a pink onesie with a frilly pink hat.
With a different gender, we had to come up with a new name. With Colton, Clinton picked his first name, and I picked his middle name. With Lincoln, it was reversed. I picked Lincoln, and Clinton's contribution was Hawke. It's quite a name for a tiny little boy. Hopefully, he'll appreciate it as he gets older. With any luck, he'll grow into it well. :)
Lincoln has certainly kept us on our toes. He had a minor blood sugar issue the first day, so they had me supplementing my nursing feedings with formula. After 3 good blood glucose readings with that method, they let me drop the formula. That was a blessing and also a curse. After I dropped the formula, they made me feed him every 2 hours-no more sleeping for me! Now, though, he's doing fine. He eats about every 2 hours during the day, and I've stretched it to 3-4 hours during the night for the last 2 nights, and it seems to be good for us both. I have finally slept more than 30 minutes in a stretch, and I feel great. He's responding normally and has finally started having BM's on a regular basis*. *(funny story on that later) On that same vein, I feel wonderful after this birth. With my first, I was saddle sore and swollen enough to have trouble sitting for over a week. I had 8 stitches and could hardly get up out of the bed for several days. This time, I had virtually no swelling (with the exception of my feet), and only 2 stitches. I am barely sore at all and have almost no significant bleeding. That's good too, considering they told me I was borderline anemic when I left the hospital. A week later, I feel normal, if a little squishy around the middle. I am also not the emotional wreck I was after Colton. I feel like I have a much better handle on this baby thing than the first time. Nursing is going well. It's been a week and the pain is receding and my supply is mostly regulated. That's also a blessing. Those first few days are ROUGH!
Colton has been an absolute angel with Lincoln. He hands the baby his toys and is eager to help fetch things for the baby and me. He told me last night when I was tucking him in, "Mama, what's that? (pointing to my belly). I told him, "That's my belly." He said, "It's big." I replied, telling him it's smaller than it was. He thought about it for a sec and said, "Baby Heidi didn't come. Baby Lincoln came out your belly instead." HALLELUJAH, HE GETS IT! :) Now, he talks constantly about his "baby brudder". It's so cute! Clinton has been an angel as well. He is very solicitous and helpful and has virtually taken over care of Colton so that I can rest between feedings of the baby. It's been wonderful! He told me yesterday he was so proud of me and what a good mom I am, and that I deserved a medal every day for it. I almost cried! True or not, it was just what an overtired dairy cow needed to hear! :)
Lincoln is such a happy baby-just like Colton. He very rarely cries, and is easily consoled when he does. Food and a clean diaper are all he really needs. He sleeps well as long as he is touching me. We'll work on sleeping in the crib later. We've got time. :) I plan to enjoy this baby more than I did Colton's early days. I didn't understand how sweet it is and how fast it is gone. I do now. Every day is a blessing with each of my children. I love both their hugs and kisses and cherish the conversations I have with each-even if one can't respond with words yet.
* Funny poop story (do not read if queasy):
We went to the pediatrician on Tuesday and decided to stop for coffee/breakfast at McDonald's on the way home. During the course of our meal, Lincoln had his first BM since before leaving the hospital on Sunday. I decided since we were going to Clint's work afterward to get his check, to change the diaper at McD's as they have changing tables in their bathrooms, in case anyone would want to see the baby. I should have just left it till we got home. It was awful-green/black, sticky and everywhere! I did not bring an extra outfit because I had forgotten this aspect of infant-dom. I will not forget again. The under-onsie caught the mess that left the diaper, so the outside layer was still "clean" and, therefore, reusable. Thank God for small miracles. However, when I took the onsie off, it dragged the mess all the way up his body. There were no paper towels in the bathroom at all. I ended up sacrificing the under-onsie to finish cleaning up the mess on the changing table after I bathed him in the sink (Did I mention we were at a food-service establishment??). Of course, he screeched the entire time. I'm sure people thought I was doing something awful in there. I swear it took about half an hour. I have now officially been "that mother." Sheesh.
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