Before I gave birth to Lincoln, I was apprehensive about parenting two children at once. I am an only child and have no idea what to do with more than 1 kid at a time. The only training I have in my 'toolbox' is my classroom management training. However, that was geared toward middle school and high school students, not infant - pre-K. Amazingly enough, it has been easier than I thought. I have learned to work the baby's schedule around my existing schedule for Colton. So far, it's worked out pretty good. I have learned a few things along the way in the first two weeks. Here are some things I'd like to mention, as well as the new knowledge I've accumulated.
1. First and foremost, I'd like to thank everyone for their generosity when it came to helping us acquire clothing for our surprise arrival of a boy instead of a girl. All of our friends and family have given us so much and have been so supportive-it's incredible! THANK YOU!
2. In the same vein, there is no possible way to describe the feeling you have when you've just given birth to what you thought was a beautiful baby girl, only to be told he's a bouncing baby boy. It's a mixture of joy and excitement for a healthy baby and just to be done with pregnancy and on to the next step where you actually get to see that baby, combined with a feeling of confusion, dread and apprehension for the things you now need to purchase and frustration for all the time you spent on prepping for a girl, only to have to re-do it all when you get home. That is in addition to the responsibility of how to explain the difference to my two-year old. The months we spent creating a bond with the new baby had to be re-vamped to fit a boy instead of a girl. He was confused for a while-I even catch myself calling the baby Heidi or referring to him as "her" without thinking. Yikes.
3. With Colton, I was so concerned with the big picture and sleep training and doing everything correctly. With Lincoln, I find myself focusing on him, without spending so much time obsessing about details and other things that don't need to come until later. Part of that is probably due to the fact that I don't have time or energy to focus past the end of the week, but I recognize the difference in my attitude toward the 'baby-ness' of Lincoln vs. Colton. I am able to enjoy Lincoln's first days a lot more than I did with Colton. Less pain and discomfort certainly helps too.
4. The best invention ever is Clorox 2. I was able to make it thru the first week with very few outfits that fit because the stains actually came out! :) I did not have this knowledge when Colton was small. Those yellow stains are stubborn!
5. Before I gave birth, I had no idea how I was going to do it all. I thought I was already at the end of my rope. Since then, I have found reserves of patience I didn't know I had. I'm actually proud of myself and what I've been able to accomplish since Lincoln was born. I'm better at this parenting/wifing thing than I thought. :)
6. I also had no idea how I would be able to love 2 children. I was worried I would feel I was neglecting 1 to care for the other. In fact, I feel the opposite. When I care for 1, I feel like I'm doing well at caring for both. Each of my kids has a special place in my heart and I try very hard to make it clear to each of them-especially Colton.
7. Colton has surprised me at how much he has bonded with his baby brother. I was afraid that when the baby turned out to be a boy, and we'd cultivated a relationship with a girl during the pregnancy, he would be confused and not be able to bond with Lincoln. However, that has most definitely not been the case. He asks to hold him, treats him gently and is super helpful-handing toys, blankets, pacifiers, etc. Colton tells others (perfect strangers sometimes), "That's my baby brother!" It's so cute! Every time he's so sweet to his brother, my heart swells and I love him even more.
8. This is going to cause some backlash, especially because I was so against it when I had Colton, but I have discovered co-sleeping is not the devil. When Colton was small, he slept 5 hours at a time-even in the hospital. There was no getting up to feed him at night because he didn't ask. Five hours was enough sleep for me. Lincoln sleeps only 2 or 3 hours at a time. Therefore, if I can roll over and doze while I nurse him at night, then, I'm all for it. I, my husband, and Colton are grateful (even if they don't know it) that I can get enough sleep at night, and my infant gets to eat when he wants. In my defense, I don't do it every night and I DO worry about it--it will only last until he sleeps 4 or 5 hours in a stretch, but maternal sleep is a limited commodity and a necessary one.
9. Each child is so different. Colton has always been an independent child. He never liked swaddling or cuddling. Lincoln needs contact with me. He has trouble putting himself to sleep too. He requires a lot more from me than Colton ever did. Colton had no trouble adjusting to Daddy helping and holding him, even as an infant. Lincoln won't have anybody but me. I wonder if that'll change anytime soon, or if he'll always need me specifically.
10. There are things about having two kids I don't think I'll ever figure out. First, is how to handle grocery shopping with both-Colton cannot sit in the basket with the carseat in the seat because he will squish and/or open all my groceries because he's so curious. I will probably have to take the baby in the front carrier and put Colton in the seat. Second is how to find time for myself. I already had trouble with that before I had Lincoln, but when I go back to work, it's going to be downright impossible. Babysitters cost an arm and a leg and I'm not comfortable leaving an infant with just anyone. Forget about date night. That has happened very few times since we had Colton, even. I'm sure there's more things I will have to figure out, but that's all I can think of right now. This may become its own list in the future. :)
I have roughly half an hour to eat lunch before Gremlin wakes up, so I should cut this short. I apologize this list is not as funny as most of my 'reflections'. Humor has been hard to come by on so little sleep. I hope the next list will be better. :) Happy Monday!
No comments:
Post a Comment