There is no end...

..to the things you can obsess about when it comes to being a mother. Right now, my current obsession is poop. Yes, you heard me. P.O.O.P. Baby poop, to be exact. You can stop reading now, if you have a weak stomach-Parenting is a messy business.

When Colton was about three months old, he started having stinky, foamy green diapers and really awful gas. He was diagnosed with lactose intolerance. Following the advice of the pediatrician, I was forced to give up all dairy in the hopes of curbing this issue, including that in baked goods. Ok, I gave it up voluntarily, but c'mon-who wouldn't, if it meant their kid would be more comfortable and still have the benefit of breastmilk? I did this for about two months, and it made for a very miserable holiday season for me and made absolutely NO difference for him. Neither did the Culturelle I was dissolving in expressed breastmilk in a dropper and giving to him twice a day-what a pain in the a**. I found out just recently, this results from the baby not getting enough hindmilk during nursing. My body was producing milk that was too thin and/or not triggering multiple let-downs during each nursing session to release the hindmilk I DID have, so he couldn't digest it properly-hence the nasty diapers and gas. It had NOTHING to do with the lactose in my diet. My body would make the lactose for him (more abundant in the fore-milk), whether I consumed it or not. He finally started on solids and bottled breastmilk (all mixed together-no multiple let-downs needed) at night when he was six months old-when I started my job. No WONDER the problem corrected itself then. Duh. Worse-because he was having such trouble, I delayed starting him on solids when he was clearly ready at 4 months so the problem persisted longer than it should have. <enter Mommy guilt-also a favorite obsession of mine.>

A couple of weeks ago, I learned I could possibly have prevented or corrected this by making sure to fully empty each side and not limit nursing time. I made both mistakes with Colton. Too late now, but better late than never. However, with Lincoln, I have not limited his time while nursing, (except the last feeding at night because I work and have to nurse on my 15 minute break and the kid flat-out refuses a bottle in any form) and I have made a conscious effort to empty each side fully. Even with this new knowledge and implementation, Lincoln's diapers turned green about the 3 month mark too. I've managed to keep it at a minimum-yellow green mostly and not nearly as stinky but still thrashing while eating and afterward with constant gas, by being extra-diligent and with constant nursing in multiple positions during the day, but I wonder if my kids truly are just lactose-intolerant. They say it's a very rare diagnosis. Either that, or I just don't produce the quality milk they need or just have inefficient delivery of it after 3 months. Or (on the same vein) they're ready for solids sooner to supplement-Heaven forbid! The pediatrician would have a freakin' coronary if I talked about solids before 6 months-certainly before 4! Or worse-I have to transition to pumping exclusively and force him to take a bottle instead. I hate pumping! Talk about a pain in the a**. This option would probably bring about weaning sooner rather than later, both because my supply will not respond as well with the pump and also just because it's a pain in the a**. (There's that mommy guilt again. Convenience or comfort for a mom!? How dare you speak of it!) Even if I try exclusively pumping first, it'll probably end with formula by the end because of supply issues-if I can even put up with the set-up and clean-up several times a day and discomfort of the pump itself for an extended period of time. The absolute worst would be to have to transition to formula or even just supplementing with formula instead when he won't even take breastmilk from a bottle. The kid'll probably starve first. This is what I mean about obsessing. <cue hand-wringing> Good grief.

Any commiseration and/or suggestions from the peanut gallery are welcome.

Everything I needed to know, I learned from my kids

So the original intent of this list was to make a serious compilation of things I've learned about parenting and myself through interacting with my kids, marked by introspect and reflection. Y'all know me better than that, so I'll just skip to the list, mmk?  Here goes.

1. Tantrum-throwing will get you what you want-in a HURRY. The more crowded the venue and plentiful the audience-the better and faster the result. Look out though-sometimes the punishment is deferred to after we leave. yikes.

2. Hugs and kisses will get you out of almost any jam. Smiles and hand-holding work good too.

3. Distraction will deflect any potential lash-back from a recently-discovered infraction. Ooh, Look at that! An Airplane, a flower, a bug, you've forgotten to punish me now, right??

4. It's ok to have a stuffed animal as your best friend. They don't take your toys away or push or bite or smother you with attention when you don't want it. They're just right.

5. If I say your name enough times, you'll pay attention to me in the way I want, not in an angry way.This also applies to asking for something. If I ask enough times, you may change your mind or fulfill my request faster. No? That's NOT true?? Well, maybe it'll be true in about 10 seconds. How 'bout now? Mama? Ma..AAAAAAAAARGH!

6. I can play by myself as long as there is an illusion you are playing with me or watching me. When that stops, all bets are off. For example, I can play with playdoh for 45 minutes with not a lot of interaction with you-just sitting at the table with me while paying bills, answering emails, or just trolling FB on your phone. However, as soon as you answer a phone call, I will DEMAND your undivided attention. Immediately. See #5.

7. There is no better sound in the whole wide world than a baby's laugh-except maybe the two year old AND the baby laughing together. Yep, that's better.

8. It's ok to get up at dawn and nap at 8am. Who cares if other people think it's weird. What-EV-er. (said in Colton's two-year-old voice with a gutteral stop on the 't'-cute here, but highly annoying when applied to something I've said to him.)

9. Bugs are yucky, and we don't eat dirt!

10. "Mama, you love me always?" Yes, son. Always.

Follow up to previous post regarding healthy lifestyle

Ok. So. It's been just over 4 weeks since I posted my resolve to manage a healthier lifestyle. I chronicled my food for about a week and half. I had grand visions of being pleasantly surprised by how well I was eating and not having to modify much. Sadly, I was greatly disappointed. I eat really bad food on a regular basis. So much so, I'm embarrassed to post it. Suffice it to say, I should stop eating like this so I don't balloon when I quit nursing. Yikes. I did marginally better on my activity level. I did manage some sort of cardio a couple of days/wk, and yoga twice or three times/ wk. That said, it was done via DVD in my living room and therefore, the quality may be lacking. In addition, I have counted the physical activities I did with Colton on the weekends. Hey-he'd run me ragged if I let him-it most certainly counts!

I have many excuses for my lack of follow thru. These include the work transition was very difficult transition with much new information, the baby won't take a bottle so I was juggling nursing and work at night, the baby won't consistently sleep thru the night so I was operating on only a few hours of sleep most of the time....see told ya. It boils down to the fact that I know I need to change things, but don't really want to give up my precious down time and my sugar addiction.

Taking this into account-I have decided to back off and focus on one area at a time. I will drop the food aspect for now, and I will add physical activity to my routine 5 times/wk. These need to be cardio only-walking, running (HA!), DVD aerobics, etc. Any yoga I am able to squeeze in will be a bonus. Starting in June, Colton goes back to only 3 days/week daycare so I will have some more motivation. He really keeps me moving. Plus, he likes to do yoga with me. He thinks it's fun. He's also been bugging the crap out of me to take him swimming. Does anybody have a pool we can come over and swim in so I don't have to teach him to swim in the chaos of a public pool and I can leave the baby in the shade or inside napping while I do??? <waggling eyebrows, cheshire-cat grin> Anybody?? Bueller??

Ok. Anyhow. Moving on.

Hopefully, this new modification will make this transition livable. Here's to a new start!