Everything I needed to know, I learned from my kids

So the original intent of this list was to make a serious compilation of things I've learned about parenting and myself through interacting with my kids, marked by introspect and reflection. Y'all know me better than that, so I'll just skip to the list, mmk?  Here goes.

1. Tantrum-throwing will get you what you want-in a HURRY. The more crowded the venue and plentiful the audience-the better and faster the result. Look out though-sometimes the punishment is deferred to after we leave. yikes.

2. Hugs and kisses will get you out of almost any jam. Smiles and hand-holding work good too.

3. Distraction will deflect any potential lash-back from a recently-discovered infraction. Ooh, Look at that! An Airplane, a flower, a bug, you've forgotten to punish me now, right??

4. It's ok to have a stuffed animal as your best friend. They don't take your toys away or push or bite or smother you with attention when you don't want it. They're just right.

5. If I say your name enough times, you'll pay attention to me in the way I want, not in an angry way.This also applies to asking for something. If I ask enough times, you may change your mind or fulfill my request faster. No? That's NOT true?? Well, maybe it'll be true in about 10 seconds. How 'bout now? Mama? Ma..AAAAAAAAARGH!

6. I can play by myself as long as there is an illusion you are playing with me or watching me. When that stops, all bets are off. For example, I can play with playdoh for 45 minutes with not a lot of interaction with you-just sitting at the table with me while paying bills, answering emails, or just trolling FB on your phone. However, as soon as you answer a phone call, I will DEMAND your undivided attention. Immediately. See #5.

7. There is no better sound in the whole wide world than a baby's laugh-except maybe the two year old AND the baby laughing together. Yep, that's better.

8. It's ok to get up at dawn and nap at 8am. Who cares if other people think it's weird. What-EV-er. (said in Colton's two-year-old voice with a gutteral stop on the 't'-cute here, but highly annoying when applied to something I've said to him.)

9. Bugs are yucky, and we don't eat dirt!

10. "Mama, you love me always?" Yes, son. Always.