The Evolution of a Stay At Home Mom

When we think of "Stay At Home Mom," we envision the 1950's woman with the trim waist, perfectly coiffed hair with make-up applied (including lipstick) pushing a vacuum in an immaculate house while her children read on the couch. Secondarily, we may also think of the pioneer woman who is beautiful in a very natural way in her homemade clothes, making soap, butter or kneading bread at her plank-wood table with a stone oven in the background with the children playing with wooden dolls on the floor. What I find interesting in both of these well-accepted visions is the role of the mother and the level of interaction in her children's lives.

In each vision, the mother is engaged in activites other than interacting directly with her children. The assumption is the father in each of these scenarios is out providing for the family in some way, whether hunting for food or earning money to buy it while the mother is supposedly providing instruction for her children. I find it very interesting the perspective we have of our mothers and grandmothers being involved directly and in a quality way in their kid's lives and today's mothers are checked out, more concerned with working out and playing on the computer or phone than being with thier children. However contrarily, we envision these earlier generations of women whom we revere as super-moms engaged in chores, not play, or even instruction of their kids. Why now, do we say mothers are less engaged than mothers used to be? Most of the SAHM's I know set aside some limited time for chores/errands, but are mostly swimming, hiking, coloring or playing pretend with their kids. Others are gardening, taking them to museums or parks or cooking together. Not many of my SAHM friends have perfect houses or even wear make up regularly. We have evolved from the "overseer" of the past to the "playmate" of the present. Please note, I am not referencing those who do not "parent" their children and believe they are friends, but I believe mothers, whether SAHM, WAHM, or working outside the home, are more immediately aware of our children's needs and meeting them more than ever before by being directly invovled. My challenge to myself and all the moms out there is to leave the housework for later, and continue interacting with your kids. Do not feel pressured to work all day on chores to conform to an ideal that didn't exist as we envision it did. Bring on the fun, Mom!

Mother, O' Mother, come shake out your cloth,
Empty the dustpan, poison the moth.
Hang out the washing, make up the bed,
Sew on a button and butter the bread.

 Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She's up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.

Oh, I've grown as shiftless as Little Boy Blue,
Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo.
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due,
Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek - peekaboo.

The shopping's not done and there's nothing for stew,
And out in the yard there's a hullabaloo.
But I'm playing Kanga and this is my Roo.
Look! Aren't his eyes the most wonderful hue?
Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo.
 
The cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow,
 But children grow up, as I've learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down cobwebs; Dust go to sleep!
I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep.

~ Ruth Hulbert Hamilton