In June, I made a rather abrupt transition from working full-time to full-time child-rearing and homemaking. I'm not going to lie-I'm not that good at being a full-time mom. I get frustrated easily and am not good at being consistent ALL day. Plus, I miss my work friends, the company, and the work itself. I miss the time it afforded me away from household chores and responsibilities (even if I still had to look at the piles of laundry and listen to the baby's screams and Colton's attitude because I worked in my bedroom.) I'm making progress, but it's been a little rough in places. You know, like the place where you haven't had a second to yourself in three days because the hubby has worked through dinner/bath/bedtime, and then he says he's leaving for a weekend with the boys (adult friends, not our kids) at the end of the month. I've slammed a few doors, shed a few tears and would give up just about anything to shower or potty or eat a full meal without interruption or at least while it's still warm. In the end, though, it's been the most rewarding job I can think of, even if it is also the most stressful. My career has been in education and also customer service, so the fact that I think it's more stressful than that is saying something. The extra stress is worth it to see my happy, growing children, even if I want to strangle them sometimes. C'mon, though-let's be real. Who hasn't entertained the idea of strangling their employees, co-workers or boss at some point?? I am so glad I now get to have conversations and take nature hikes with my 3 year old and sing with my 7 month old. Colton has learned how to push my buttons, but he's also learned a few other things from me too. He may not prefer to perform on command, but he knows several letters and numbers by sight, how to use scissors and beads, and "reads" to Lincoln at bedtime. I missed a lot of that with Colton by working nights starting at 6 months of age. I was so tired for most of his life, I couldn't enjoy him as much as I wanted to. Now, if I miss a couple of hours of sleep overnight, I don't have to worry as much as if I also had to juggle a job. I take things in stride a lot better and am infinitely less stressed than I was for the one month I tried to go back to work after Lincoln was three months old. Clinton is less stressed too.With him working days and me working nights, we had zero together time, and almost no social life or free time. It was starting to grate on both of our nerves. Now we have the freedom to enjoy our kids and enjoy each other. Clinton has also commenced taking classes again so I am alone one night a week.
With all that extra free time (?!) I am starting to look for something more. I believe after the middle of the month, I will begin working on Christmas presents and plans. I know that seems early, but everything takes twice as much time when juggling two kids. I never knew it could take me 2 hours to cook a simple dinner or bake a cake, but with Colton's help and Lincoln's distraction, it is the norm now. Plus, sometimes, things that are finished or almost finished either get taken apart or ruined by said help and distraction later in the process. I am also thinking of planting a fall garden in the next week or so, some pumpkins and such.That is to say, I will plant a garden in the spring instead, since I'm pretty sure I'm not going to actually get a garden in the ground in time for fall. It's a nice thought though. With next year's crops, I'd like to do more canning and freezing so I have some of our stuff leftover for next fall/winter. All of these things, however, require no new skills. After the first of the year, I may try something I've never done before, like knitting or crocheting (I have crocheted before, but only simple stuff) or some more complicated sewing than curtains or skirts. I have not yet decided what new project I should learn. I have enjoyed cooking, so I might take a class to learn more about specialty culinary arts or something. I could do a little bit of all those things too. Maybe I'll scrap all that and work on writing. Who knows what I'll eventually decide? Many parents, including myself fear losing their personal identity once they have kids. Maybe I'll find a new one I like better. Maybe I'll just add another one I like as much as the "old me" to make me more well-rounded. Either way, I am excited to start getting reacquainted with myself and continue growing as a person and a wife, mother, and homemaker. Here's to the next chapter in my life!
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